1.THE EXPLOSIVE CHILD (Ross
2. KIDS, PARENTS, POWER
STRUGGLES (Mary Shedy
3. THE ESSENTIAL
PARTNERSHIP (Dr. Stanley
4. THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD
5.HOW TO TALK SO KIDS WILL
LISTEN (A. Farber & E. Mazlish)
6. HEALING ADD (Dr. Amen, MD.)
WORKING WITH FAMILIES IN THE GREATER TEMECULA AREA
Licensed child/adolscent/family therapist providing family assistance with parenting concerns, child behavior problems and developmental issues. Specialties include improving
relationships, developmental delays and identified special needs concerns associated with a School District Individualized Education Plan (IEP).
Many parents report significant improvement within 3 visits. In addition to child/adolscent family counseling; offerings include parenting classes to strengthen parenting skills,
prevent and treat behavior problems, and increase social competence in children ages 2 to 18 years old.
“An emotional connection is the best legacy and gift a parent can give to their child.”
PARENTING TIPS FOR BUILDING EMOTIONAL REGULATION SKILLS
You can spare your child from feeling shame and alienated when they are learning a new skill such as “listening and self-control.” For example, if you
child is playing with a toy like a ball inappropriately, you do not need to lecture him to get him to stop. Instead, help your child understand the
consequence of his behavior, and help regulate his disappointment or frustration by providing empathy and problem solving. Example: “Remember
Adian, I told you that if you threw the ball at my face, I would have to take it away until you can play with it safely. You have chosen for Mom to put the
ball away.” If your child protests say “I know you feel bad now. We can try again later. Meanwhile would you like to hit the balloon back and forth, or do
you have another idea?”
CONNECTING THE DOTS FROM CHILDHOOD TO ADULTHOOD
Children’s emotional development is strongly related to their brain. The brain is responsible for organizing incoming
emotions. If children are self-regulated, they are able to calm themselves, delay gratification and to tolerate change.
Brain growth promotes self-regulation. But brain growth is dependent on healthy relationships with adult caregivers.
Children need empathic adult caregivers, mirroring their feelings and thoughts as they encounter all levels of emotions.
When parents are able to read their child's needs accurately, and respond sensitively, to the emotional part of the brain—
(called the limbic system); children associate these positive experiences and begins to build strong wiring connections.
Parents can think of themselves as the most important “limbic teacher” in their child's life experiences. Positive, intimate
relationships will build permanent limbic circuits. These daily interactions create a "limbic legacy", which will be throughout
their lifetime. That is why childhood experiences are so critical. These reciprocal interactions provide children practice at
regulating feelings of arousal and the ability to calm down. It provides a self-regulated child! Self regulation is "the" most
important gift you can give to your child, and a gift that will secure a life time legacy of emotional well-being. It is never to
late to become your child's "limbic teacher" and secure permanent limbic circuits.
DEVELOPMENTAL THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS, TEACHERS AND THERAPISTS
Many children today are often misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD, non-compliant behavior problems and learning problems. Often these diagnoses have similar symptoms linked to sensory
integrative dysfunction (SID)-which is when messages from the senses are not correctly processed by the central nervous system. SID is a sort of “traffic jam” in the brain. Some bits of
sensory information get “tied up in traffic” and certain parts of the brain do not get the sensory information they need to do their jobs. SID is a malfunction, not an absence of function.
Sensory integration should be well developed by the time a child enters Kindergarten. The ability to organize and concentrate is dependent upon the child’s self-regulation, tactile
processing, and sensory processing of movement, emotional maturity and motor maturity (motor planning and coordination). Children with SID may avoid touching, refuse to wear certain
clothing, be picky eaters, or cover their ears or eyes. Conversely, they may crave sensations and seem oblivious to sensory & social cues. SID can be treated with specific
individualized, developmentally appropriate activities between child and primary caregivers. SID is not treated with medication; the increased sensory experience will allow the central
nervous system to adjust itself and adapt to ordinary sensations. Sometimes children need further therapy with an Occupational Therapist trained in SID.
| Reading Resources - Emotional Regulation